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| If you want success you have to fix your own issues first. |
The issue of fixing yourself can be both physiological and psychological. An individual can have a physical addiction to Heroin and thus there problems stem from their dependence to this substance. But upon examining the issue on a deeper level, you realize that there is a far greater psychological factor that is causing this physical dependence. After all, were not born with an addiction to Heroin. It's not as if we need this substance in the same fashion we need water, food, oxygen, and sleep. So why then does it occur? Why are so many people dealing with a variety of addictions? It's because something or someone during the course of their life destroyed their self-esteem and confidence. And no I don't mean your ex who cheated on you with your best friend. (Although I'm not denying that could cause someone emotional damage)
No the real issue is that as we are growing up we are made to feel as if we're not good enough. People poke and prod at our self-esteem and confidence, they bring us down and damage us emotionally. The reasons are endless: short, fat, bad skin, crooked teeth, halitosis, no athletic ability, social awkwardness disorder, bald, unattractive, being shy, lacking wealth, and etc. It never ends and it affects every single one of us, even the most intelligent, well liked and attractive individuals suffer from this in some form or another. Amazing isn't it? No one is exempt from this.
That brings me to my next point, how can you accomplish anything without first understanding the task at hand? You can't understand your addiction to drugs by just assuming it's because your depressed. Why are you depressed? Is this a present issue or one that goes back as far your childhood possibly? Who are the people responsible for your feelings? Are they still in your life? Think about it, you literally cannot just quit doing drugs and assume you've fixed your problem, there's reason you started using them. It has to do with a person's psychological baggage. We all have it, every single one of us.
This has never been clearer to me then it is now. I understand it because I have throughout my life struggled with insecurity and anxiety. I'm no mental midget but I am human. I get what people are going through, at work, in their relationships, in their dealings with family and friends. It's difficult to pin point what exactly is causing it because we try to neglect the pain and suffering it causes us and we attempt to bury it. But you will never be free of your demons until you correct them and the only person that can do that is you.
People live in denial, they think there exempt from psychological baggage because they can't see it. We assume because we don't have some crazy ex-girlfriend or abusive parents that we carry no baggage. We also make the assumption that there is only physical baggage and it's just not true. The psychological baggage is much worse than anything physical. We must all begin by identifying the root of our issues. The time it takes to discover this will vary from person to person. But once the root of the issue is discovered there needs to be a plan in place and put into motion in order to fix whatever may be wrong.
Let use a real life example using an insecure female who was put down throughout the early years of adolescences. She is attractive, intelligent, personable, athletic, and well liked. She comes from a good family and was raised in a caring and loving environment. Her family isn't the issue; it was her classmates and peers who were either jealous or envious of her. Their best remedy for building themselves up, was putting her down. They picked on her appearance, her family's socioeconomic background. (Although not poor) They made her feel as if there were something wrong with her, made jokes and found creative ways to mock her. She grew up feeling like she would never be good enough, like no one would ever accept her for who she is. Sounds familiar right? She then developed eating disorders and endured large amounts of stress and anxiety. She developed unhealthy mechanisms for coping with all of her emotional distress.
To make matters worse, she essentially became her own worst enemy. Her relationships would not last because she was so caught up in finding the guy who could see how awesome of a person she was, but who would also take on her psychological baggage. The issue is that neither individual stopped to ask what this baggage was or were it stemmed from. They didn't try to get to the root of the problem so there was never any success. It was written off as typical female psychosis, not true. This girl needed someone who didn't want anything from her, she needed someone to help her and develop a plan for discovering her deepest and darkest emotional issues. This person has to be someone who isn't concerned with dating, having sex, or even maintaining a friendship with this girl. Why? Because in the end this person will realize that you are right and even if they admit this, they now will fulfill their potential and cut you out. It's okay because you helped them and that was your goal and motive.
You didn't do it for them but you allowed them the ability to accomplish the task. It's like being a coach; you put your players in the best position to win. That is why we all need to address our psychological issues. We can't continue to ignore them and assume everything will be okay. It's how we can have peace, happiness, and relieve stress. I hope people understand that I am not picking on women or their emotions. This is all inclusive, everyone needs to do this. This will help every single one of us in our relationships, our jobs, our lives. To me it's a no brainier, I hope this sheds some light into all of our psyche's.
I will go on the record and say that 98% of you will read this and view it as total bullshit, I'm just a realist. I hope you prove me wrong.
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